Adolescence, pt. 1: “I Don’t Know What I’m Doing Here”
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“I don't know what I'm doing here." If you've ever whispered that as a dad—at 3 a.m. or sitting in front of a teacher, doctor, or cop—this episode is for you. The question isn't whether we can prevent chaos from touching our families. We can't. The real challenge is: what do we do when it blows down the door?
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The Quotes
This boy’s bedroom is covered with little boy things, but is being accused of a very grown up act.
I feel the full spectrum of emotions, and that’s ok.
Themes
The struggle of being a father
When you don’t know what to do
You wonder if you did enough, or did the right thing
Sadness vs anger as a masculine emotion
Impact on shame on our emotions and choices
The struggle of forgiveness
The power of affirmation
The fallacy of control
The challenge of navigating the chaos of growing up
Resources
RAM podcast
Allen Arnold—Religion says, “I messed up, my dad is going to kill me.” Relationship says, “I messed up, I need to call my dad.”
Questions
Where do you feel you could have done better as a dad?
What does it mean to be a man?
What does the term “toxic masculinity” mean to you?
What do you do when chaos enters your story through your children?
What do you remember from your adolescence?
What do you do (as a dad) when you don’t know what to do?
Where do you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing?
How have you felt shame or invalidated your own emotions?
How do you affirm your children?
Where do you go to feel affirmed?
More info
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Logo and episode templates by Ian Johnston
Audio quotes performed by Britt Mooney, Paul McDonald, and Tim Willard, taken from Epic (written by John Eldredge) and Song of Albion (written by Stephen Lawhead).
Southerly Change performed by Zane Dickinson, used under license from Shutterstock.
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